saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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