she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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