i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
