Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
