Jerry, you need to find god
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
