i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
