He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
