What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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