I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
