I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize