Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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