Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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