I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
