the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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