If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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