Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
