i would punch a child for taco bell
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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