You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
