We're like a lot better than the average bears
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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