my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I need water and some morals
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
