I think my vagina is haunted
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
