If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
