Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
