You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize