My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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