this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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