C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
