You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
