DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
soo... how was my night?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
