Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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