girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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