I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
