If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
