I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
