just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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