wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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