I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
