I forgot how hot balto sounded
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Can vaginas get frostbite?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
