Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you told grandpa to call you daddy
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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