you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
