I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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