I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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