We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
