THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
