i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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