Can i not drive my cunt home
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
