I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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