READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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