Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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