I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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