evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
