I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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