OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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