I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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