Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
