Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
