What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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