I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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