Hey man sorry I got all grabby
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
