We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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