Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
