it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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