I think im going to throw up on grandma
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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