is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
operation harelip BJ is a go
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
