Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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