those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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