I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
