Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
