he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
