nut hugger
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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