so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
