Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So much Jack, so little girl.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
