I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
