He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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